Do You Want My Opinion or Not?!

I found it particularly true when I watched an episode of Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei
(Trans: Goodbye, Despair teacher)
and it mentioned that,
certain people, when they ask for our opinion, are actually seeking for answers they've already found and then start bitching when we don't think the same thing.

Take recently,
A friend asked me
"How would you feel if a guy you like, who likes you back, is suffering through a disease that may cause him to lose his memories of you?"

I gave it a thought.

It wasn't hard coming up with an answer on my side.
The guy forgets? Then let him forget. Love at a level that does not have a clear result to marriage is useless to me.
What is important is my family.

But I already know this is not the answer she is looking for.
I ended up giving my answer
and, as expected, she was not satisfied by it.

This was because she was looking for consolation, reassurance and not an opinion.

Fffffffff-
What's the point of asking "How would you feel" questions if your own opinion isn't accepted?
Because she is a friend, I don't bother sugar-coating my words that much.
So I tell her, "My answer isn't what you are looking for."
Internally: "Go ask someone else who have more heart than me and actually gives more shit."

Moral of the story: When you ask for opinions, be satisfied with other people's answers. You don't have to accept it but it's an F-ing OPINION. That you asked for. Duh.
Note: I'm trying to teach myself this too

Anyway,
I tried looking at her perspectives of things and told her a bit of what I thought could be a solution to her...uh...problem
Solution #1: Get close to the guy's family. Let them know you both are going out so that if that happens to him, you'll be the first to know and can amend it.
Solution #2: (related to above) Start keeping your messages and all those lovey-dovey shit stuff you guys do now. IOW: start creating physical memory so that it's easier to reconcile with him.
But of course, my words dripped with honey at this point

See, I'm not that heartless.
*bricked*

I'm really seeing things on many perspectives now. Is it what you call empathy? I don't know.
Whatever it is, I'm a person who goes by principals so it gets difficult when talking with someone who goes by their heart.
I do try to accomodate
I'm even training myself to be a Blue Hatter (Edward de Bono theory)

but...
just...
when you ask for opinions, don't expect me to sugar-coat my answers so much.
It gets tiring and I go through an internal WTF moment when you look so dissatisfied by my answer.
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My own opinion.
So it doesn't matter if you think differently

Critique is Good but Praise is Satisfying

I had CCT (Critical and Creative Thinking) class and
was quite reluctant to go seeing as the next day is midterms and my evening class got cancelled by majority vote.
When the lecturer entered, she began asking about those who had yet to submit their due assignment

Our assignment was we had to do a mood board based on
The 6 Thinking Hats

I had to relate one hat to myself and produce a kind of 'scrapbook' on an A3 sized board
As expected, I chose green (creativity)
but I'll take a moment of your time and reveal that I am more closely tied with black hat (cautious and careful) but I couldn't come up with a way to show that on my mood board

Anyway,
She begun telling everyone that a mood board isn't about us explaining what the hat means. We were supposed to relate it with our own personality.
She gave an example of a girl who claimed to be a Yellow Hat (optimist) when she was actually a Black Hat (pessimist) and the girl had the gall to argue about that with her. Her reactions were negative and all she did was deny, deny, deny when an actual Yellow Hat person would have re-done the mood board the moment the lecturer mentions something is amiss.
Offhandedly, my lecturer mentioned that a lot of people claimed to be Yello Hats and Green Hats.

My heart kind of sunk at that time because I did a Green Hat and I was hoping my work could be the red rose among the black/the pearl among the sand etc, etc.
My mind was already conjuring a new mood board (this time blue - Strict and order) to give her. That was when she mentioned something new

"But there was one person - I'm not sure which class - who did a green hat. It was very simple but showed a complete understanding of what it means to be a Green Hat. This person had utilized a few objects - if I can remember correctly, a lot of bottles, and boxes -"
around this time I thought "that might be me!" and was excitedly tugging on Aina-kun's sleeve
"- and two bunkbed ladders. I see someone smiling! Who did this assignment?"
and my hand was instantly up. I was excited but then got nervous when people turned to see who it was. My hand shot down nearly as fast
"Ah you! It's really good! Very simple and to the point. She had lots of bottles (I nod), empty boxes and two ladders, right? (I nod enthusiastically) And from all of this she built a shoerack. It's very creative and she didn't use many words."

I just went to imaginary cloud nine at this point

Here's what the mood board looks like:

Very, very simple. I was even scared to submit it at one point.
four of those item images are from google.com
I drew both illustrations (just for this assignment) and the last picture was from an existing item.

A bit after that,
after telling us of another good example done by a student, she said that the mood board is really easy to get full marks and immediately mentioned that my mood board definitely got 10/10.

THIS.

Alhamdulillah. No other words left. Seriously.

Anyway, I just remembered last monday, we got out Business Math quiz sheet back.

I was one of five people who got 40/40

._.

Whoa.

We have another quiz sheet that the lecturer hadn't returned yet. I really hope I did well in that also
TTvTT
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Midterm, today
o_o

Violence Isn't A Good Answer

Okay,
I'll admit,
shoving my friend into the wall in front of a whole group of friends wasn't the nicest thing ever.
Not that I'm nice. I have just proven that to my friend.
However, trying to pin scandals into my sibling's book will never be taken lightly by me.
Friend or not.

If I had the choice, I'd like to apologize to her.
It wasn't nice of me and I'm sorry
but I really don't want to bring it up
and I don't want her to forget that I do NOT appreciate or will ever be able to tolerate that she had insinuated/slandered about my sister and a guy I don't even bloody know much about.

I can be nice and I will be nice if you give me reasons to be.

I do not ever want to make enemies with anyone especially my friends but a few things I cannot handle is anyone badmouthing/slandering/lying about my family
I don't even fucking care if it's a bloody joke
I don't take jokes about my bloodties well

EVER.

Period.

To dive deeper into WHY I couldn't tolerate what she had said
was that it could have caused rumours that I find even more unnecessary
and is a bitchslap to my family's dignity, pride and good name.

I can never allow that to happen. By a friend, no less.

If it affected me and only me, I wouldn't even really care
I'm a frickkin social brick
but I live in a community based on family reputation and good name. I will not allow anyone to tarnish my parent's hard-earned social respect with some childish slandering.
(I will call it slander because it is a downright lie and has possibilities of hurting the person to whom it relates.)
At least, not smack-dab in front of me.

If need be, I'll explain this to her.
but I have high hopes that she has learnt well and will always remember the feel of me pressing her into the wall and glaring atop my glasses while I tell her to stop telling people my sister has a scandal that she DOES NOT.

I solemnly pray as so.

I know and fully realize to an outsider that I'm being a total Bitch about this but this is a serious matter to me.
I also know I look like I have one heck of stick up my arse
but when have I not?

Yet, again I have to mention that I shouldn't have done that.
There were many ways to tell her off
and shoving her into the wall wasn't one of it.
but I had done what I did and I apologize

I'm sorry.

I lost control of my emotions and lashed out badly.
It was a mistake that I wish I could take back.
Alas, it has been done.
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I'm sorry
but don't ever fucking do it again