I found it particularly true when I watched an episode of Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei
(Trans: Goodbye, Despair teacher)
and it mentioned that,
certain people, when they ask for our opinion, are actually seeking for answers they've already found and then start bitching when we don't think the same thing.
Take recently,
A friend asked me
"How would you feel if a guy you like, who likes you back, is suffering through a disease that may cause him to lose his memories of you?"
I gave it a thought.
It wasn't hard coming up with an answer on my side.
The guy forgets? Then let him forget. Love at a level that does not have a clear result to marriage is useless to me.
What is important is my family.
But I already know this is not the answer she is looking for.
I ended up giving my answer
and, as expected, she was not satisfied by it.
This was because she was looking for consolation, reassurance and not an opinion.
Fffffffff-
What's the point of asking "How would you feel" questions if your own opinion isn't accepted?
Because she is a friend, I don't bother sugar-coating my words that much.
So I tell her, "My answer isn't what you are looking for."
Internally: "Go ask someone else who have more heart than meand actually gives more shit."
Moral of the story: When you ask for opinions, be satisfied with other people's answers. You don't have to accept it but it's an F-ing OPINION. That you asked for. Duh.
Note: I'm trying to teach myself this too
Anyway,
I tried looking at her perspectives of things and told her a bit of what I thought could be a solution to her...uh...problem
Solution #1: Get close to the guy's family. Let them know you both are going out so that if that happens to him, you'll be the first to know and can amend it.
Solution #2: (related to above) Start keeping your messages and all those lovey-doveyshit stuff you guys do now. IOW: start creating physical memory so that it's easier to reconcile with him.
But of course, my words dripped with honey at this point
See, I'm not that heartless.
*bricked*
I'm really seeing things on many perspectives now. Is it what you call empathy? I don't know.
Whatever it is, I'm a person who goes by principals so it gets difficult when talking with someone who goes by their heart.
I do try to accomodate
I'm even training myself to be a Blue Hatter (Edward de Bono theory)
but...
just...
when you ask for opinions, don't expect me to sugar-coat my answers so much.
It gets tiring and I go through an internal WTF moment when you look so dissatisfied by my answer.
.
.
.
.
.
.
My own opinion.
So it doesn't matter if you think differently
(Trans: Goodbye, Despair teacher)
and it mentioned that,
certain people, when they ask for our opinion, are actually seeking for answers they've already found and then start bitching when we don't think the same thing.
Take recently,
A friend asked me
"How would you feel if a guy you like, who likes you back, is suffering through a disease that may cause him to lose his memories of you?"
I gave it a thought.
It wasn't hard coming up with an answer on my side.
The guy forgets? Then let him forget. Love at a level that does not have a clear result to marriage is useless to me.
What is important is my family.
But I already know this is not the answer she is looking for.
I ended up giving my answer
and, as expected, she was not satisfied by it.
This was because she was looking for consolation, reassurance and not an opinion.
Fffffffff-
What's the point of asking "How would you feel" questions if your own opinion isn't accepted?
Because she is a friend, I don't bother sugar-coating my words that much.
So I tell her, "My answer isn't what you are looking for."
Internally: "Go ask someone else who have more heart than me
Moral of the story: When you ask for opinions, be satisfied with other people's answers. You don't have to accept it but it's an F-ing OPINION. That you asked for. Duh.
Note: I'm trying to teach myself this too
Anyway,
I tried looking at her perspectives of things and told her a bit of what I thought could be a solution to her...uh...problem
Solution #1: Get close to the guy's family. Let them know you both are going out so that if that happens to him, you'll be the first to know and can amend it.
Solution #2: (related to above) Start keeping your messages and all those lovey-dovey
But of course, my words dripped with honey at this point
See, I'm not that heartless.
*bricked*
I'm really seeing things on many perspectives now. Is it what you call empathy? I don't know.
Whatever it is, I'm a person who goes by principals so it gets difficult when talking with someone who goes by their heart.
I do try to accomodate
I'm even training myself to be a Blue Hatter (Edward de Bono theory)
but...
just...
when you ask for opinions, don't expect me to sugar-coat my answers so much.
It gets tiring and I go through an internal WTF moment when you look so dissatisfied by my answer.
.
.
.
.
.
.
My own opinion.
So it doesn't matter if you think differently
2 thoughts:
Well, I think I understand what she was so mad about. :U It seems that you misinterpreted her question.
For questions like that, it's more safe to start with "I think I'll feel..." Or something similar. Idk.
Empathy is more like when you understand other people's feelings, so. ._. So... the reverse; not really caring and understanding feelings would be apathy.
Emotions play a big part in making decisions, so we can't really do anything about it. Maybe she feels it an important question, and she needed advice- but too proud to admit that she needed them?
Or maybe I'm just reading too much into this.
Lol, sorry for the rant. ;3; School's ending soon.
Well, I wouldn't say she's mad. She's just not satisfied with it. Kinda of like a '3' rather than a D:<
and I did start with a "I think I'll feel..." and ended with a "but of course, that's my opinion."
and yeah, it was a big question for her but she just kind of...chose the wrong listening ear in the end...
Post a Comment